One of my college friends asked a group of us for advice on organizing his final report for the year. "Why don't you use Roman numerals to head the different sections"? another friend suggested. "I already thought of that," he replied. "But my keyboard doesn't have Roman numerals on it."
Septic Tank
A young preacher who was new to the community was contacted by the local funeral director to hold a graveside service at a small country cemetery. There was to be no funeral, just the graveside ceremony, because the deceased had lived so long he had no family or friends left. The young pastor started early to the cemetery, but soon lost his way. After making several wrong turns, he finally arrived a half-hour late. The hearse was no where in sight, and the workman were relaxing under a nearby tree, eating their lunch. The pastor went to the open grave and found that the vault lid was already in place. He took out his book and read the service. As he returned to his car, he overheard one of the workman say, “Do you think we should tell him that’s a septic tank?”
Pass It On
My husband and I were at a restaurant with his boss, a rather stern older man. When my husband began a story, which I was sure he had told before, I gave him a kick under the table. There was no response, so I gave him another poke. Still the story went on. Suddenly, he stopped, grinned and said, "Oh, but I've told you this one before, haven't I?" We all chuckled and changed the subject. Later, on the dance floor, I asked my husband why it had taken him so long to get my message. "What do you mean?" he replied. "I cut the story off as soon as you kicked me." "But I kicked you twice and it still took you awhile to stop!" Suddenly, we realized what had happened. Sheepishly, we returned to our table. His boss smiled and said, "Don't worry. After the second one, I figured it wasn't for me, so I passed it along."
Emerging Intelligence Out in space, two alien forms are speaking with each other. The first alien says, "The dominant life formed on the earth planet have developed satellite based weapons." The second alien, who looks exactly like the first, asks, "Are they an emerging intelligence?" The first alien says, "I don't think so. They have them aimed at themselves."
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