A company is interviewing applicants for an accountancy position, and the three finalists have been chosen.
The first one is called in, and asked, "What is two plus two?"
She answers, "Four," and is asked to leave.
The second finalist is called in, and asked the same question, "What is two plus two?"
He also answers, "Four," and is also asked to leave.
The third and final applicant is called in, and yet again asked, "What is two plus two?"
He answers, "What do you want it to be?"
Not my dog
One day a man is walking down the street when he sees an old man with a nice looking dog.
He goes over to the man and asks: 'does your dog bite?' the old man replies 'No never'.
When the man bends down to stroke the dog, it immediately takes a snap at his hand. The man says 'I thought you said your dog did not bite!
'I did' replies the old man, but this isn't my dog!'
I was sitting in the foyer of a bank when a young man walked by and then stopped for a moment on his way out. I noticed that one of the latches on his overstuffed briefcase was
unfastened, putting strain on the remaining latch.
"You're going to lose the contents of your briefcase," I warned him.
Just then, the case burst open. He stared at me with something akin to fear in his eyes as he gasped, "How on earth did you do that"?
A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of shopping at the mall. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her.
Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm.... That's funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills."
The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward."
"Give me a sentence about one of the public servants we learned about today," said the teacher.
One small boy wrote, "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant."
The teacher took the boy aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked.
"Sure," he said confidently. "It means carrying a child."