The far side of JM

Remember the matinee idol Jovit Moya.  He appeared in ’80s and ’90s movies like Black Magic, Zaldong Tisoy and Mario Sandoval. A mainstay on the hit television series That’s Entertainment, there was a time that Jovit Moya was a household name.  Here is a collection of his funny side he posted in the internet.

Back in the day our english teacher was teaching on grammatical person. Then she asked: "If I say 'our beautiful teacher has a handsome and rich boyfriend', what person is speaking Jovito?" I replied "A delusional lunatic ma'am".......... did someone say "detention"?

Is it just me or does anyone else notice that there must be some kind of movie rule wherein everytime they have a scene involving grocery bags there must be french bread in them?!?!


Went to my neighbor for tea one day and his 6yr old son Sean was drawing. I said: what are you drawing kiddo? he holds up a the piece of paper and said "its an octopus!! its got 8 testicles!!" His dad and I couldn't stop laughing!!!


In my youth I spent some time in a small town called Sotorribas, in Spain. one day my schoolmate and I were late for different reasons. The teacher asked: Santos de Saavedra why are you late? Santos replied "my horse stopped and laydown in the middle of the road, I was helpless" teacher rolls her eyes and says: Jovito ...Moya why are u late? I replied: stuck in traffic mam there was a horse in the middle of the road!!


Just realized that his Blackberry is not part of his anatomy... and its ok to set it down and be separated from it once and a while...

When I was about 12 my teacher asked me what my idea of an ideal school was. My answer..."burned to the ground, miss". ....... did someone mention the word detention!?!

Whenever my wife used to tell me to sweep the house, I would sit on the sofa, tea cup in hand, legs crossed and I would sweep my eyes from right to left, and back again from left to right! Complied!!!
I got invited to my neighbors party, and his son asked him: Daddy!! daddy!! How does it feel to be ugly? dad says: I dunno son never got to experience that, why don't you run over to grandma (wifes mom) and ask her... she knows a lot about that.

Some years ago as a Captain, transfered to a new camp. The only housing available for me was at the bachelor officers quarters. As luck would have it,everyday, a rooster owned by an NCO would perch on the wall separating the BOQ and the NCOQ and crow at 5am. After a week of this madness I decided I was going to have chicken for lunch and a good nights sleep!

I was at the mall today and a mother and child were arguing: mommy please buy it! NO!! mom I'm old enough to wear it! I SAID NO! but mom I'm 15 and I should be wearing one. my friends all wear them. DAMMIT RICHARD FOR THE UMPTEENTH TIME I'M NOT BUYING YOU A BRA!!!

Before I got married my wife did the talking and I listened, after we got married I talked and she listened, 2 years into the marriage we both talked and the neighbors listened!!

When I was 10 I told my 12yr old neighbor Anne that she was ugly, and she cried. My Mom and Anne's mom were having coffee at the time,they overheard us and my mom said "that's not nice, now go up to her and say you're sorry!" so I went up to Anne and said "Anne...I'm sorry you're that ugly".

Everytime I drive past this signboard for bathroom fixtures I end up laughing: "SAVE THE TREES.... USE A BIDET"

 Many years ago as a teenager wanting to join the service, I knew I had to become an officer, because I had a problem with authority...... If I wasn't the authority then there was a problem!!!

When I was a young boy my teacher asked me 2+2? I counted my fingers and said 4. She asked me to keep my hands behind me and asked 4+4, I felt my fingers and said 8. This time she wasn't too pleased with my use of fingers, she said put your hands in your pockets 5+5, I felt around and said "11".

The secrets to my staying young are: having lots of exercise, eating very healthy foods, removing all stress, deep breathing, having lots and lots of sex...... and most importantly ...lying about my age!

I used to own a Rottweiler, mans best friend, one day while waiting at the vets he looked at me and had that look that said "what kind of best friend would have his buddies testicles removed"... and so... we got up and left!

My neighbors daughter asked me... "my dady is a male, my mommy is a female, so...what's an email?"

Is it just me or does anybody else notice that the older we get, the more reading we do during bowel movement sessions. Hell! In a few more years I might just finish an entire novel in one sitting!

When I was in the service it always surprised me how the semestral rifle or pistol profficiency would always get cancelled, however, the bi-annual PFT never got cancelled. Apparently the Generals wanted a force that couldn't shoot but could run fast!

Back in the day when I was part of the command staff, I usually ran the operation plans by my 5 and 7 year old neighbors. For some reasons the kids always found the damn flaws in the plans that adults missed!

Back in the day when I was still a young lieutenant, our firebase was attacked by insurgents... and I still remember the last words the Major said to me: "what duck?"

Has anybody else here, besides me, ever tried to spit while riding on a roller coaster?

 Many years ago when I was in the service, I once had a job wherein I was tasked to find a miniscule sign of intelligence in the intelligence reports!!

 I remember when I was 12 my teacher asked me to name 3 famous ancient greeks... I said... Pericles!... Sophocles!... and... uh...umm.... Testicles??

 Having been in the service, one of the most useful religious teachings I found most apt for the battlefield is: "it is better to give than to receive."

Why am I frowning today? Because it takes 42 muscles to frown and only 17 to smile and my face needs the exercise damn it!

I always enjoy giving a parting fart as I exit a crowded elevator

my doctor recommends I get a lot of cardio workouts! sex is a cardio workout....

A few years ago I was on a C-5 transport and the female tech sargent announced the usual crap and the name of the pilot. I said: did I hear you right the pilot is female? -TSGT: yes sir its an all female crew sir. I said: wow must be an interesting cockpit. TSgt:we don't call it a cockpit anymore sir its the "box office" now.

Its amazing how much time we spend infront of the TV... for some of us the TV really does rule our lives, time will come when a man will get up from the couch and the TV, like a nagging wife, would say: "dont you turn your back on me". I told my neighbor once that reading is food for the brain, and now he watches TV in... mute, reading the closed captioning instead.

My dear friends, in the stressful world we live in, many people have forgotten how it is to relax... and so this week i suggest to you dear friends... smile, relax, take a deep breath...... go out for pizza and have some sex?............ What????.... you don’t like pizza?

I sometimes get annoyed when I hear the people say the over used phrase... "beauty is only skin deep" well helloooo!!??? How franckin deep do they want it?? ... Up to my liver???

My friends, more than half the troubles we experience in
life are brought about by none other than ourselves. Most of our
experiences happen because of our thoughts, desires, and actions. For a
simpler life my Father used to say: "Don't trouble trouble if trouble
isn't troubling you"... and so my friends... have a trou...ble free
day!

Everyone grows old... but for me old age will always be any number 20 years more than my age!

Some years ago I won a battle over stress & worry with the help of my Rottweiler, THOR. And the formula was simple, handle every stressful situation like a dog...If you can't eat it or play with it, Just pee on it and walk away. I know some of you can't help worrying, but I say to you my freinds, worrying can't help yo...u either. So think like a dog and smile my friends!

I believe in earning through hard work, so I will drive 60 miles to get a lottery ticket

I swear some parents now days are just plain IDIOTS!!! They should pass a breeding law that would limit couples to one child per 75 parental I.Q. points!!

The problem with treating everyday like a weekend is that you get so bored shitless during the actual weekends!!

One of the most valuable things I learned as a cadet which is still applicable today: Never be first, never be last, and never ever volunteer for anything!!!

In life.. at times I feel lost... and I always turn and find refuge in the words of my favorite famous philosopher, Homer............. "Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand" --(Homer Simpson)

Every time I watch the late night news.. theres this one thing I really dont get... its this thing called AIR QUALITY WARNING... jeez.. what the hell are we supposed to do... hold our breath???

In a perfect world paid sick days would include the days when you're sick of work...

why is it that everytime I get on the motorway I suddenly need to pee!!! damn!!!

Its annoying to see those electronic signs that show your speed.... If the state really wants to slow us down.... well.... they should display the cost of the ticket. "Your speed is ... $150."

Sex at age ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

I watched the Golded Compass all over again.... and have come to the conclusion that if I ever had an animal spirit... mine would be Garfield.. and he would lay down and be lazy all day...!

as I lay down in deep thought for an hour I began to see the stars, the planets, galaxies, the universe!!!... and a question came to me.... where the hell did the ceiling go!?!?





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